RSS Feed (xml)

Powered By

Skin Design:
Free Blogger Skins

Powered by Blogger

Friday, December 24, 2010

Peace on Earth, Good Health to Children

Last week Graeme got sick and stayed home from school for three days.  Around the same time, Kai became congested but no fever so he kept going to school.  Then on Tues of this week Chloe came down with a fever (104) and congestion and had to miss the last two days of school.  Finally, yesterday Kai got the fever too so this has been the scene at our house for the last few days:

Graeme's still congested but no fever (thank goodness), Chloe's temp is all the way down to 103 (sarcasm) with coughing and congestion and Kai's temp is up to 104 also with coughing and congestion.  I sure wish I had taken them in for flu shots.

I'm trying desperately to focus on Christmas, but at this point I'm exhausted and wishing it was all over.  I wish I could say everything was done and ready, but there's still wrapping to be done and now I'm going to have to prepare a Christmas dinner since we won't be able to go to Mom and Dad's.  I know this is a Christmas we'll all remember, but right now I'm focused on surviving.  Merry Christmas anyway.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Lost tooth (teeth)

When we took Kai to the dentist a month or so ago, we were a little surprised when the dentist told us that he had a couple of loose teeth.  Not so much surprised at the fact of loose teeth (he hadn't lost any yet and we were expecting it soon), more at just how loose they were.  Kai hadn't said a thing about them.  After the dentist visit, we started telling him to wiggle them so they would fall out and the tooth fairy would come visit.  Although he's super excited about the tooth fairy, he was completely unwilling to wiggle them.  Then, about a week and a half ago, he started complaining that one of his teeth hurt when he ate.  Brian offered to pull it but Kai was really, really unwilling.

I didn't think much more about it until last Thursday when Kai and I were eating lunch.  He started complaining about his tooth hurting and then wanted to show me how loose it was.  It was so loose he could push it all the way over with his tongue (I could see the bottom of the tooth)!  I told him that was pretty neat and he probably could pull it out.  He refused, of course.  A couple of minutes later he said: "Mommy, my tooth is gone!"  "Well, where is it?"  "I don't know!"  We looked all over and couldn't find it so I'm pretty sure it went down with his corndog.  When I mentioned that he probably swallowed it, his response was: "That's not possible!"  Which kind of cracked me up.  He was convinced that because teeth are hard, you can't swallow them without serious bodily injury.  Anyway, we wrote a note to the tooth fairy and all was well.

Until the next day, that is.

Having not learned my lesson, I cooked up another corndog for his lunch.  A few minutes into the meal, out of the blue, he said: "Mommy, my other tooth is gone!"  That's right, his second lost tooth went down with the corndog to join the first.  No more corndogs for Kai!

If you look real close, you can see that the new teeth are already coming in.  We wrote another note to the tooth fairy and she was kind enough to leave more money even though "she didn't see my tooth" (according to Kai).

These lost teeth make me a little sad.  I'm happy that Kai is growing and developing, but each of his "firsts" is a "last" for me.  No more first lost tooth, first smile, first day without diapers, first day of Kindergarten, first breath in this world.  I'm comfortable with having no more children, but these milestones still make me a little melancholy.

BTW, I went to Weight Watchers on Friday and was down 1.8 pounds.  It wasn't as much as I had hoped, but any loss is better than a gain.  Now I just need to survive the rest of the holidays........

Friday, December 10, 2010

I win or Weight Watchers week 5

From the title of this post, you're probably already guessing where I'm going with this.  Here it is anyway:  I went to Weight Watchers today (in spite of bloating and horrible cramps) to discover that I lost 5.4 pounds this week!  Needless to say, I'm thrilled beyond words.  And with my new attitude change I'm even celebrating my accomplishment instead of minimizing it.  Hooray!  I am winning!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Weight Watchers week 4, BPD and a Change in Strategy

Okay, so I went to my fourth Weight Watchers meeting last Friday, but I haven't really felt like posting about it until right now.  Probably because I'm going again tomorrow.  Anyway, I gained 2.6 pounds which was really really bad and I've been pretty upset about it.  Although, I think I've been more upset about the comment the lady who was weighing me made.  When I saw my weight gain I said: "Oh, that's bad."  and her response was: "Well, it looks like Thanksgiving was good."  Which made me feel like crap because I think if Thanksgiving was good, I would have lost weight!  So I've continued to feel like crap since then and have regularly contemplated giving up.

But today I was thinking about Biggest Loser (one of my favorite shows) and I remembered Jillian the trainer telling one of the contestants that she needed to stop seeking approval from others.  I realized that's exactly what I've been doing!  Now I know that's not a good strategy in general, but it's even worse for people (like me) with Borderline Personality Disorder.  Because of my BPD, I tend to view people in black and white; a person is either all good or all bad and that includes me.  So when someone else is rude or unsupportive, it's devastating because it means that I am a horrible person.  I've really been working on my perceptions of other people and I'm getting a lot better about accepting the good mixed with the bad, but I realized today that I haven't been applying those perception changes to myself.  Not a good strategy for weight loss because I can never ever win.

New strategy for tomorrow:  no matter what the scale says, I'm going to remind myself of my victories (big and small) and I'm going to tell myself over and over again how beautiful, strong, smart and talented I am.  What it boils down to is that I've got to believe in myself or all of the wonderful, supportive people in my life won't be able to help me one little bit because the second they make a mistake or say something wrong (we're all too human) my world will come crashing down.

My personal battles right now in this life are obesity and BPD.  As hard as they are, I guess they could be worse.  I will win.  As Stuart Smalley would say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

To Anonymous

I've been getting comments on my blog lately from several anonymous sources who I'm pretty sure are actual people and not ad generating computers.  While I'm grateful for your interest in my thoughts and experiences, I haven't responded to or published your comments.  You may be wondering why, so here it is:

20 years ago when I was in college, I was given a position of responsibility in the dorm where I was living.  One of the dorm rules that I was required to enforce was no lit candles.  One of the other residents (who was a friend of mine) had a birthday party and attempted to light the candles on her cake.  I stopped her and she became very angry at me.  She complained to my supervisor about how awful I was (she made up a story about how I mistreated her) and I got into a lot of trouble.  I assume it was her but I don't know for sure because my supervisor wouldn't tell me who leveled the complaint against me and wouldn't listen to my side of the story even though I had no other complaints against me before or after.

I know, I need to let things go, but I'm not angry at that girl anymore, I just appreciate knowing who I'm interacting with at any given time.  Anonymity doesn't sit real well with me.  So, if you would like to link to one of my posts, send me the address of what you're linking me to.  Or leave your blog or email address in your comment and ask me not to publish it.  I'm always looking to get to know new people!