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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I REALLY LOVE Summer Food!

I've been feeling a little guilty about that last post; it was written in a fit of passion brought on by my own self-pity. See, I've been working very hard at this whole weight loss thing but the results of all my hard work are SLOW in coming. I mean, I can see small differences in myself, but nothing major and I haven't magically shrunk out of ONE SINGLE item of clothing. My clothes are a little looser, but that just makes me feel like I'm wearing a tent whenever I get dressed and we all know how good THAT is for one's self-esteem.

However, when I ran into Anna at the gas station today she burst my little pity party bubble by telling me that I was looking so skinny she almost didn't recognize me. Thanks Anna! (You're my new best friend, by the way!)

Anyway, that major compliment freed up my mind to dwell on something other than my kids and my body and it, of course, settled on food. I've come to realize in the last few years that I have a very complex relationship with food. I'm definitely an emotional eater, but I'm talking about EVERY emotion. Any strong emotion will drive me to the cupboard looking for a treat or a snack. I'm also constantly HUNGRY. I think when I spent that month on my mission with very little food or money it broke that part of my brain that knows food will be available the next time I need it. Consequently, I want to eat ALL THE TIME and I eat WAY TOO MUCH.

This being said, summer is the BEST food time of the year for me because my current food plan allows me to eat as many fruits and vegetables as I want! Why is that good news? Because my favorite fruits and vegetables are: corn on the cob, garden peas, watermelon, cantalope, cucumbers and beans! Hooray! I could seriously live on these foods alone and be satisfied physically and emotionally! I can fulfill my almost constant need to eat without inducing one single bit of guilt. Ahhhhh.....

Someday I'll build a greenhouse in my backyard so I can have these things fresh year round. Until then, does anybody know how to bottle watermelon?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I REALLY hate summer!

Okay, I don't really hate summer the season (although 96 degrees and no central air or swamp cooler gets old in a hurry), it's the summer holiday that tends to get under my skin. Not only do I have all of my regular responsibilities (laundry, groceries, housework, etc), I suddenly turn into a seasonal farm hand. I get to plant and harvest, weed the garden and three flower/strawberry beds, mow, water and fertilize the lawn (or pay some idiot to fertilize it for me, a mistake I hope I'll never make again!), sew and crochet and somehow make time to sell my goods at the Gardener's Market, online and at any other craft shows I manage to hear about.

But, honestly, it's not all the extra work that really gets to me. It's the never-ending, noisy, frustratingly horrible quality time I get to spend with my kids. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but frankly I don't like them ALL THE TIME. Here's an example of why:

Yesterday, I had just barely stepped into the shower. I had spent an hour and a half mowing the lawn and screaming at the kids in a vain attempt to motivate them to pull weeds. I was already hot and tired and I needed to hurry so that we could go to the store. Suddenly, the door crashed open and Graeme stormed into the bathroom.

Graeme: MOMMY! KAI JUST HIT ME WITH HIS PILLOW!
Me: So?
Graeme: (Stomping out and slamming the door) ARGH!

Two minutes later I hear Kai crying.

Me: GRAEME GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!
Graeme: (Entering quietly) What?
Me: WHAT DID YOU DO TO KAI?
Graeme: I hit him in the back with my fist.
Me: (Taking deep breaths) Let me see if I've got this right. Kai, who is 4, hit you, who are 7, with a pillow, which is soft; so you, who are 7, hit Kai, who is 4, in the back with your fist, which is hard?
Graeme: Ummmm.....
Me: GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL SUMMER IS OVER!

The thing is, this is not, in any way, an isolated incident. The second I get in the shower or on the phone chaos erupts and somebody (usually Graeme or Kai) gets sent to their room in tears. And, in case you were thinking that I was being unfair to punish Graeme and not Kai, Kai got sent to HIS room as soon as I got out of the shower and calmed down enough to refrain from putting my fist through a wall.

Seriously, is it August yet?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

We came in Peace, for all Mankind

Forty years ago (yesterday), Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. They got out of their landing module and walked around a little bit, then they got back in and headed home. For the first time ever, Man walked on a surface other than the Earth.

It seems like such a small thing until you consider the decade of planning and preparation, the multitude of technological breakthroughs, the tens of thousands of people and not least, the millions and perhaps billions of dollars spent to make that short lunar visit possible.

All of the flight engineers at Mission Control were young; the average age was 26. In fact, the guy in charge of the whole mission was only 36 years old. That's how old I am! The responsibility for the success or failure of that mission, not to mention the lives of the astronauts, must have been a heavy burden indeed.

Why did they do it? Why did all those people sacrifice so much for one short lunar expedition? I really don't know. I'm well aware that Pres. Kennedy gave an inspiring speech challenging America to put a man on the moon, but I doubt that was the sole motivation for all those people. I like to think that maybe the old pioneer spirit sparked and set fire to the hearts of those people, but maybe they did it just to see if they could.

Whatever their reasons, I'm awfully glad they did.

On the Apollo 11 lunar landing module there is a plaque. It says, in part, "We came in peace, for all mankind" I can't help but be inspired by that sentiment. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we, as a species, could unite under the banner of peaceful exploration? If we could just leave all the anger and hatred and violence behind and take that giant step out to see what's beyond the confines of our beloved Earth?

Thank you Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong and all the thousands of scientists and workers, spouses and children, who sacrificed in order to show us that we can do whatever we set our minds to. Thank you to those who are still working and sacrificing for that very same lofty ideal.

Maybe someday soon we will come in Peace, yet again.

Monday, July 20, 2009

My Bear Lake Miracle

Let me start this post by saying that our camera got dropped a couple of weeks ago and is now somewhere in Texas (I think) being repaired (I hope) so I have no new pictures to offer. You'll just have to use your imagination. Sorry.

Anyway, last weekend we got to go to Bear Lake. Unlike our last visit, it was sunny and hot and didn't rain once. Of course, that meant that the rest of Utah and Idaho were also at Bear Lake, but I digress. Last year one of Brian's uncles was given an old Waverunner which he brought up to the lake and generously allowed the rest of us to play with. It's still there and for some reason I absolutely adore driving the silly thing around! Unfortunately, it tends to tip pretty easily and I'm incapable of climbing back on it unless my feet are touching the ground. At least, that's what I thought......

Picture a gorgeous, sunny day. The lake was blue and the sand was hot. I went out on the Waverunner for probably the 20th time that day. Because none of the kids were with me, I went a little crazy and attempted to spin a circle (I had, in fact, successfully completed this maneuver earlier) I made it all the way around and then the world went into slow motion. I felt the Waverunner ever so gently lean too far to the left and I realized that my left foot was under water. Before I could even react, the rest of me was in the water too and the Waverunner was floating away. It was so strange! I wasn't afraid of drowning because I had a life jacket on and I'm a good swimmer, but suddenly I became very aware of the very deep water that I was swimming in. I was having a hard time breathing but I managed to swim to the Waverunner and grab on. Then I remembered the whole "incapable of climbing back on it" business and almost cried! I was several miles from shore and there were no other boats nearby.

So what did I do? I prayed. I prayed as only a desperate person prays. I prayed for my very life. And slowly, ever so slowly, pleading and gasping, I pulled myself back up onto that Waverunner. I did it! Of course, I don't think I did it alone.
I was shaking so badly that I almost tipped the dumb thing over again! But I managed to stay up and make it back to shore. I even went out again a little while later, bruises and all. Did I learn anything from this experience? Probably not, but I'll always remember it as my Bear Lake miracle.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Ummmm....the Sequel

Speaking of Chloe asking awkward questions...
A couple of days after that last incident, we were eating dinner and the conversation drifted to clams. (Don't ask how or why, we tend to discuss really odd things during dinner) Anyway, the kids wanted to know where people get clams to cook. Brian explained that mostly they come from clam farms. Graeme (of course) wanted to know where the clam farms got the clams. I couldn't help but laugh because I knew exactly where this was going.

Brian: Well, they take baby clams and raise them.
Chloe: But, where do baby clams come from?
Me: (falling off my chair with laughter) Yeah, where do baby clams come from?
Brian: (getting into the humor of the moment) When a mommy clam and a daddy clam love each other very much.......
Graeme: What?
Me: Trees! Clams come from trees!
Kai: (aka Animal from the Muppets) Clam trees! Clam trees! Clam trees!

Fortunately for Brian and myself, the kids found the idea of clam trees so hilarious that the conversation shifted into an interesting discussion of trees that we would like to plant in our yard. (For example, a money tree or a donut tree) I can't help but wonder if I should just give in and take the kids to one of the many local dairies during breeding season and then again during calving season. Of course, that would probably just raise questions that I'm even less capable of answering.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Ummmmmm......

I had one of those "I have no idea what to say" Mommy moments yesterday at lunch. Here's how it went down:

Graeme: Mommy, do babies come out of your belly button?
Me (wondering when he stopped believing that mommies poop out babies): Ummmm, no.
Graeme: Well, where do babies come out?
Me: Ummmmmm.......
Chloe (with an all-knowing smirk): Graeme, it's private.
Graeme: What?
Me: Ummmmmm.......
Chloe (still smirking): Graeme, babies come out your privates.
Me: Chloe!
Graeme: Ohhhh.
Me: Graeme, I'll explain it to you when you're a little older.
Graeme: Okay, like when I'm 25? I'll have my wife by then.
Me: Yeah. 25 will be great.

The funny thing is, we've had this conversation before and (fortunately) my kids don't seem to want to discuss how babies are made, just how they come out. But we haven't talked about it for awhile so it just really caught me off-guard. The problem is, my kids usually won't settle for the easy answer so if I had told them that babies do indeed come out of belly buttons, lunch would have been abandoned for a vigorous and lengthy inspection of everybody's belly buttons. And, I have no idea when Chloe figured out where babies come out. I guess if you're a girl it's just a matter of logic, but this probably means I'd better start anticipating awkward questions from her. Incidentally, Graeme has already informed me that he and his wife and children will be living with me in this house for the rest of our lives. Boy, a children's anti-aging serum would sure come in handy right about now......

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

"I ate a lot of food at dinner!"

I was kneeling on the floor this morning helping Kai get dressed and I suddenly realized how tall he is. So I smiled at him and asked him when he got so tall.
He looked thoughtful for a minute and then said:
"Mommy, I ate a lot of food at dinner!"
What a crack up!