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Monday, May 16, 2011

I found her

Saturday was the worst and best day of my life.

We were so busy!  Brian took me to market at 8am, then he ran home to take Graeme to his soccer game by 8:45.  Meanwhile, a neighbor came and took Chloe to softball practice at 9.  After the game and practice, there was a neighborhood cleanup scheduled and then Brian had to come back and get me at 1pm.  Crazy, right?  Well, we made it to market on time and I was doing my thing when the phone rang at about 10:30.  It was Brian and he said:

"Chloe's not home and I can't find her."

I can't describe how I felt hearing those words.  My heart stopped and I couldn't breathe.  I think Brian was surprised by the visceral nature of my reaction.  I was literally hysterical.  All I could say was:  "find her!"  All the worst case scenerios were rushing through my brain.  I couldn't see and my only coherent thought was that I had to get home and find her!  The problem was that I didn't have a car.  So did I ask a friend to run me home?  Look for a bus stop?  Call a cab?  No, I called my Mom.  Here I am, all grown up with kids of my own and what do I do in that moment of extreme stress?  That's right, I turn back into a small child.  Anyway, even though they live an hour away, Mom and Dad dropped everything and were going to come get me.  I am so very grateful for that.

An agonizing half-hour later Brian called back and said:

"I found her."

The three most wonderful words in the world!  It turns out she was still at softball practice, they were just in a different part of the park and Brian hadn't been able to see her before.  The relief I felt was so intense, it took me more than an hour to stop crying.  The people who stopped by my booth must've thought I was nuts!  When I got home, I just hugged her and hugged her.  Those moments when I thought she was lost were without a doubt the worst in my life and when she was found once more I was happier than I have ever been.

Here's the thing.  I constantly tell my Primary class how important they are and how much God loves them (and I know that to be true) but until Saturday I'm not sure I really understood.  As I was getting ready for church yesterday it hit me so hard I had to sit down.  That overwhelming grief I felt when I thought Chloe was lost is just a fraction of what our Heavenly Father feels when any one of us is lost.  We are His children and He loves us perfectly and eternally.  I wonder how much more His joy is when a lost one is brought home?  I'm sure the heavens ring with songs of rejoicing when those wonderful words come:

"I found her!"


Anonymous said...

I knew what you were going to put at the bottom & it is so true. I've been the "lost one" & I've also been the "found" one. Both are emotions so intense that they are indescribable. Knowing how loved we are makes this world worth living in. It makes me sad that so many people don't understand this.

When mom told me what happened I feared the worst & yet, she's fine. I'm so grateful that all turned out well. (sobbing of course as i type this) Hug her for me too!


Anderson said...

I think all parents have experienced that true feeling of excruciating fear when their child is "missing"be it for a few seconds or longer. So glad everything turned out ok!

Dutson House Happenings said...

So glad you found her, that would have been so scary!

Loved what you put at the end, so true.

Pat said...

I hadn't thought about this until I read your thoughts. When you were very small, just about a year and half old, we took you to the hospital because you had pneumonia and your Dad and I were so darn sick that the doctor decided to put you in there to help us all. We went home to try to feel better, anyway you were left alone in the hospital (I really was ill). After you came back home we couldn't find you. We looked everywhere but you were nowhere to be found. I thought I was going to go crazy and then we found you under your bed in the far corner sleeping soundly. My heart sang but I was so extremely sad that you had been so frightened that you hid under your bed. I would do anything for any of you, I learned my lesson early on. We love you and are so glad our beautiful Chloe is safe!