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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Mercy and Love

We've reached critical mass. The kids and I have spent so much time together that we can no longer be in the same room without spontaneously exploding. For instance, this morning, I was outside weeding (enjoying a rare scream-free moment) when Kai came out sobbing. Further investigation revealed that Graeme had punched him in the stomach. Again. I'm pretty sure that's the twelfth time this week. Don't ask why, I no longer do.

Anyway, since I wasn't done weeding, and sending Graeme INSIDE for timeout was exactly what he wanted, I made him help me weed. As it turns out, that was the PERFECT punishment. He was totally miserable and repentant and I actually got help coping with the current weed epidemic. I wish I had thought of that two months ago!

A couple of hours later, Graeme had miraculously not punched Kai again, so I took the opportunity to eat lunch. Of course, five minutes later, here comes Kai crying and sputtering something about Graeme and hitting. I admit it, I reacted badly. I told Graeme to get in timeout without even attempting to hear his side of the story. I was yelling, Graeme was crying, and suddenly Kai blurts out:

"It was an accident, he didn't mean to do it!"

That one sentence stopped me cold. Here was Kai's big chance to get back at Graeme for an entire summer of misery and he didn't take it. All that mattered to him was that Graeme didn't deserve the punishment I was attempting to mete out. After making sure Kai was okay, I explained to Graeme about mercy and sent them on their way.

But I couldn't understand WHY Kai showed such mercy until I sat down and really thought about my sons' relationship. Yes, it SEEMS like Kai is constantly screaming and crying, but it turns out that the only time he screams and cries (mostly) is when Graeme won't play with him. Just two days ago, he sat on the couch and cried for 45 minutes because Graeme went in his room and closed the door. It turns out Kai loves his brother. Loves him with all his heart.

It was a small epiphany moment for me. Clearly, mercy is the result of love. I guess this is what Jesus meant when He said to become as a little child. I haven't been very merciful to my children this summer and today Kai unknowingly showed me that I probably haven't been very loving, either. Maybe the next time World War III breaks out in my livingroom I'll remember that I love my kids and maybe, just maybe, I'll scream a little less and hug a little more. Maybe.


sues2u2 said...

The other good thing is that Thursday is now only 6 days away.

Give the kids a hug for me. (& one for you too!)

Rebecca said...

What an inspiring story! I LOVE it! ...I don't think I'll make it to the farmer's markert this Sat, but should the next. If you wanna gimme a call that's cool and we can meet at any time to snaggle the blanket (I'm SO excited!).

Mom was talking about looking on our own for a different material for the dress... Have you already started? If so, no biggie. :)

Dutson House Happenings said...

Your blog made me feel so normal after it reached "critical mass" at my house yesterday.

I love reading other people's blogs and finding out other people are going through the same things as me.

Thanks for making me feel better!