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Monday, August 31, 2009

I will NOT surrender!

I weighed myself this morning. I gained 5 pounds. I'm feeling pretty bad about this. Not surprised, just bad. I've really kind of fallen off the wagon lately and now I'm paying for it. It would be so easy to just let it all go, to just give in and accept me the way I am and to heck with the consequences. I'm just so tired.

However, I'm also tired of being huge. I may not be the fattest person you'll ever meet, but my height combined with my weight makes me feel like I'm ALWAYS the largest person in the room. I'm tired of words like "plus size" and "obese". I'm tired of gigantic clothes that don't look good or fit right and I'm tired of mirrors that refuse to lie to me. I'm tired of asthma and hypothyroidism and sore muscles and joints. I'm tired of the knowledge that I probably won't be around for my grandchildren if I don't change RIGHT NOW.

So I'm serving notice right now (again) to those three demons: Disappointment, Depression and Despair. There will be NO white flag above my door! I might give up twenty times a day but I will NEVER SURRENDER! It might take me two years, or three, or the rest of my life, but I WILL DO IT! You might win every battle, but I will win this war! I will take back my life if it kills me!

4 comments:

sues2u2 said...

In the words of the aliens from Galaxy Quest -"Never give up; never surrender"! You can do it & I'll be right beside you (long distance of course! lol) to cheer you on.

Love ya!!!!

Sissamom said...

(((HUGS))), my friend. I know you can do it!!!

Dutson House Happenings said...

I'm at the same point you are right now, so I feel your pain of gaining five pounds and being just sick of being "plus size".

I know you can do it, you're doing so good!!

Rebecca said...

I'm in the same place. My favorite quote:
"The chief and greatest cause of failure is giving up what we want most for what we want at the moment." --put it on your fridge! :) Love ya!