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Thursday, July 23, 2009

I REALLY hate summer!

Okay, I don't really hate summer the season (although 96 degrees and no central air or swamp cooler gets old in a hurry), it's the summer holiday that tends to get under my skin. Not only do I have all of my regular responsibilities (laundry, groceries, housework, etc), I suddenly turn into a seasonal farm hand. I get to plant and harvest, weed the garden and three flower/strawberry beds, mow, water and fertilize the lawn (or pay some idiot to fertilize it for me, a mistake I hope I'll never make again!), sew and crochet and somehow make time to sell my goods at the Gardener's Market, online and at any other craft shows I manage to hear about.

But, honestly, it's not all the extra work that really gets to me. It's the never-ending, noisy, frustratingly horrible quality time I get to spend with my kids. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but frankly I don't like them ALL THE TIME. Here's an example of why:

Yesterday, I had just barely stepped into the shower. I had spent an hour and a half mowing the lawn and screaming at the kids in a vain attempt to motivate them to pull weeds. I was already hot and tired and I needed to hurry so that we could go to the store. Suddenly, the door crashed open and Graeme stormed into the bathroom.

Graeme: MOMMY! KAI JUST HIT ME WITH HIS PILLOW!
Me: So?
Graeme: (Stomping out and slamming the door) ARGH!

Two minutes later I hear Kai crying.

Me: GRAEME GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!
Graeme: (Entering quietly) What?
Me: WHAT DID YOU DO TO KAI?
Graeme: I hit him in the back with my fist.
Me: (Taking deep breaths) Let me see if I've got this right. Kai, who is 4, hit you, who are 7, with a pillow, which is soft; so you, who are 7, hit Kai, who is 4, in the back with your fist, which is hard?
Graeme: Ummmm.....
Me: GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL SUMMER IS OVER!

The thing is, this is not, in any way, an isolated incident. The second I get in the shower or on the phone chaos erupts and somebody (usually Graeme or Kai) gets sent to their room in tears. And, in case you were thinking that I was being unfair to punish Graeme and not Kai, Kai got sent to HIS room as soon as I got out of the shower and calmed down enough to refrain from putting my fist through a wall.

Seriously, is it August yet?

3 comments:

sues2u2 said...

Man, does this sound somewhat familiar. Sigh...

Betcha moving down here sounds a tiny bit better right now, eh? (I have to find something good about down here!)

Dutson House Happenings said...

This kind of made me laugh a little, because it sounds exactly like my house. I can't wait for school to start and my kids haven't even reached kindergarten(well Ethan will in the fall and I think that's why I can't wait).

I really do think kids have some kind of radar in them that makes them explode when you get on the phone. There is not a phone call that goes by that the people on the other end don't hear one of my screaming children in the background.

Yet again, your blog was so fun to read!

Rebecca said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA That is the BEST story EVER! I totally feel ya on the "don't like them all the time" bit... I find that any punishment that involves Ella having to stay in the house is only punishing me, so I'm creating a bigger monster every day. It's awesome!