I prayed for 10

About two months ago when I suffered a major reality check and began to accept how badly out of control my weight had gotten, I came up with a plan. I didn't join a gym or Weight Watchers. I didn't talk to a nutritionist or a personal trainer. I especially didn't start taking any pills. I just used the very little knowledge that I have and made some changes that I was pretty sure I could sustain for the rest of my life.
I also began setting goals. I decided that I was capable of losing 10 pounds a month. It's a nice, even number and since I needed to lose 150 that meant I could be down 120 in one measly little year, then three more months and KAPOW I would be where I needed to be. I also decided that since I would be losing weight on a monthly basis, I wouldn't weigh myself until the last day of each month.
Well, on the last day of May, I was indeed down 10 pounds for the first time in years. Needless to say, it was a fantastic day and I hit June with a renewed sense of enthusiasm and vigor. But it's been a difficult month. I always assumed that when I started exercising regularly my moods would improve, but that's just not the case. It turns out I'm just as psycho as ever!
Anyway, last week I realized that today was the last day of June. I'd like to say I doubled my exercise and cut my calorie intake in half, but that's just not the case. I kept on doing what I've been doing for two months and I prayed for 10 pounds. I prayed and prayed.
Finally, when I got up this morning I got on my knees and said one last prayer for 10 pounds. It sounded something like this:
"Father, I've been exercising and eating less. I've tried to sleep more. I've added more fruits, vegetables and water to my diet. I've even given up soda. I've done all that I can. Please make up the difference."
Then I got on the scale. (If you have more faith than I do, you probably already guessed the outcome) Any guesses?

I lost 19 pounds!!! I prayed for ten and He gave me 19! I thought I was hopeful when I was down 10!

Of course, it's still not noticeable. At least not to anyone else. And, I think most of it has come out of my boobs. Sigh. But, now I know that someday my clothes will all be too big to wear. Someday I'll be able to walk into a department store and buy clothes off the rack. Someday I'll be able to walk into that snotty Doctor's office with my head held high.
You're all invited to my house for a huge party when I drop the big 100!

10

What is the value of ten? I think it's all a matter of perspective. For an infant, 10 pounds can be the difference between existence and non-existence. 10 grains of sand is nothing, but 10 diamonds is a fortune. 10 french horns are great; 10 piccolos not so much.

10 gallons of gas is almost a full tank, but 10 drops of gas won't get me to the gas station. 10 cents isn't even a phone call, but 10 dollars is a nice lunch. 10 friends make me happy, 10 children make me want to cry. 10 ounces is barely more than a glass of water, but 10 ounces can be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

For me, 10 is hope.

I weighed myself the other day (admittedly it was first thing in the morning) and for the first time in YEARS that scale showed 10 pounds less. 10 WHOLE POUNDS! Now, I know that losing 10 pounds isn't going to make me thin. Heck, with 150 pounds to lose, 10 pounds isn't even noticeable. But that 10 pounds meant that something is working!

Suddenly, exercising isn't that bad. Watching my portion sizes and counting calories isn't that bad. Even eating only half of my favorite shake isn't that bad because that 10 pounds told me I CAN DO IT!

For me, 10 is everything!

Hypnosis

I saw an ad in the paper the other day for a weight-loss class at a hypnosis clinic. Since overeating is one of the coping mechanisms for people living with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) I'm getting fatter and fatter as the years go by. The way I see it, since my overeating is the direct result of a problem with my brain, why not confront my brain directly and see if I can solve the problem?
The class is only four weeks (once a week) and is supposed to start after Easter. The "hypnosis consultant" sent me a brochure and some information. I have to admit, there was a considerable amount of what I consider to be hippie technospeak but I'm still willing to give it a try. After all, it's gotta be better than putting unknown drugs into my body.