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Sunday, January 22, 2012

Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma,

Today is your birthday.  As you know, you would have been 95 years old.  It's only been a few weeks but I'm having a hard time moving on.


I know you were ready to go, you've been talking about dying for many years, but I never really believed you and I certainly wasn't ready for you to go.  It happened so fast.  I'm sorry I wasn't there at the end.  I could have been.  I'm sorry I didn't call or come visit more often.


You gave me so much.  Did you know I notice the way the carpet looks after I vacuum?  I can't stand footprints on it :)  I love to sew and I'm reasonably good at it.  I'm a perfectionist and very independent. 

Life was hard for you.  I know you fought for everything you had and everything you were even though sometimes you didn't have to.  It was just the way you were.  You thrived on the challenges that life presented you.  You were so very social.  I knew you best these last few years when you were softened by age and suffering but your spirit still burned within.  You were strong and amazing and fierce and I miss you.

Happy Birthday.

2 comments:

sues2u2 said...

I miss her too. She was so beautiful & spunky! Yes, Happy Birthday, Grandma. I'm so glad you get to celebrate w/ your parents, son, husband & other loved ones this year. I love you too, Skip!

Pat said...

Grandma would love reading and knowing she has made a difference in your life. She loved you all so much, and she was so proud that "Steph" sewed her blanket or some other thing that she no longer could do for herself. Or the peaches you canned for the first time, she told me how wonderful they tasted and how nice they looked. (that was important to her).

She watched as you grew up and become the lady you are today. There is nothing she would want for you more than to be able to go on with your life. In fact, you talk about how strong she was, that is how she became so strong was sitting goals to climb back up after some difficult time in her life. She had to do that many, many times. I'm not sure how early in life this type of "survival" started but I do know after she married the first time, it was a big factor in her life.

We each morn in our own way and no one can tell you "how" to morn or when it should be done - just know Grandma is proud of you and loves you so much, as am I. You provided a service to Grandma so many times and she was so grateful for you. It was important for her to have her family do things for her rather than the neighbors.

I love you daughter.