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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Today

I went to the gym this morning instead of sitting on my bed eating graham crackers and frosting.

Before you congratulate me, you need to know that it was the hardest thing I've ever done and I almost didn't go.  I've also been continuing to fight the cracker/frosting urge all day.  Why is this still so hard?  Every day I wake up with this raging hunger/need for crappy food that I have to battle all day.  Even when I don't give in, I go to bed feeling defeated because I don't look any different and my clothes don't fit any differently and I don't feel any different.  Well, that's not entirely true; I feel a little more defeated and a little closer to giving up.

I've been doing this for more than a year!  When will my weakness become strength?

3 comments:

sues2u2 said...

I am proud of you for going to the gym. It really doesn't seem fair that you've been working so long & not getting where you want to be. I do know that you will get there though. I'm just sorry that you're struggling so much.

Pat said...

I don't know that our weaknesses ever go away. Maybe they change but what would motivate us if we didn't have something to work towards. Don't give up, you look so good and yes I'm sure you want to lose more but it didn't go on over night and it won't go off faster but slower. I wished I knew why that was the fact but guess it's being "human". Be happy and just hang in there. God loves you no matter how many times you want to give up and then when you don't He rejoices in your strength!

luvinna said...

Mmm... Graham crackers and frosting. I have not had that in soooo long!

I know what you mean, though. I had thought that after a year, I'd conquered my snacking-when-bored habit. I hardly had any problems with it in 2009 when I started losing weight. But in 2010 I got complacent and it came back. It's probably the main reason I gained back 14 pounds last year. So now I'm back to fighting it off.

I wish I could tell you exactly when it is going to get easy, but I don't know when that will be. I hope you don't give up.